In order to first understand the basic development of a message board fight, you must first examine the five basic archetypes of message board participants. These categories are not mutually exclusive, but rather a person can belong to more than one to various degrees....a venn diagram of douchebaggery if you will.
In no particular order, here they are:
Hailey Mills doesn't have anything on these bitches. SRSLY, they shit rainbows and unicorn sparkleighs, and are oh-so-perfect that they would nevah EVAH dare engage in any sort of name-calling or overt confrontations. Instead, they prefer clutching their pearls and flouncing about admonishing anyone who dares to have an opinion different than their own.
Most likely found: On parenting boards passive-aggressively stating how much of a better parent than you they are
Most likely found: Wherever drama is to be had. Even boring drama that is not related to their situation.
The Jan Bradys
Most likely found: In various BGs, unleashing herds upon herds of teal dears.
Most likely found: On pw protected boards bitching about the same Jan Bradys that they are publicly supporting.
The Sally Fields
What the Sally Fields fear more than a fat woman fears spandex is people not liking them. Popularity and perception is EVERYTHING, yo, so they don't want to publicly commit to any side of an argument until there is a clear winner. So they lay in wait, looking for the perfect opportunity to do a "what she said" to further ingratiate herself to the Pollyannas (unless a herd of OGBs are dominant, in which case they kiss some OGB arse). While they claim to hate drama, we all know they secretly luv it, because it gives them an opportunity to side themselves with the victors.
Most likely found: Following around the OGBs on the search for the very drama they claim to hate.
Ho-Kay. So now that you have the basic idea of what we are dealing with, let's give a play by play of how these shitstorms usually go down.
Most drama is generally started by the Jans, because they are usually more prone to being a lying liar who lies, and are so caught up with their own manufactured drama that they don't realize people are too SMRT to see through their BS. That, or they start bitching about someone (their MIL, DH, best friend, etc.) and it becomes clear that they are the craxxy ones and their poor families deserve a fucking MEDAL for putting up with their special brand of cray-cray.
The OGBs, never ones to sit on their hands or ignore an opportunity to call someone out on their asshattery, go all "nuh huh fuck eyes, you be trippin'". So basically this:
Which of course offends the delicate sensibilities of the Pollyannas, who feign shock and awe at the fact that someone dared to not be 100% supportive- because after all, we all should get along and vomit rainbow sparkleighs and rose petals and fluffy white kittens.
Next up a Gemini attempts to go all OGB on the OGBs (which never works because, let's face it, you can't play a playah), even though the person they are defending is the exact.same.bitch. that they have previously complained about in private. But whatevs, they will never admit it, and it's usually in the company of a Sally Field who they know would never out them publicly, lest they be labeled a narc. Speaking of the Sallys, the whole time they are sitting back with a bowl of popcorn, waiting to see who to align themselves with.
Inevitably, the Jan goes all:
Claiming that they will NEVER come back (although you know bitch be lying, as she's just waiting to see how many people beg her to stay- tru fax), and that she is going to go off and cry now. The drama seems to be over, but never one to miss an opportunity to show how superior they are a Pollyanna will start a thread relating to the previous drama, usually under the guise of "I'm not sure what happened to us- we used to be closer than a politician to a hooker" or how she is "werry WERRY disappointed in all of us"- because she is obviously my mom and I give two shits.
And that folks, is how these feats of fuckery usually progress.
Shit, I think I needs me some wine now.